Working with clients over the years I’ve noticed a trend in thinking that they are not worthy of love unless…
Unless could mean anything. Unless i have a clean house, unless the kids are spotless and well behaved.
Sometimes unless become until. I’m not lovable until I hit 6 figures, until I have a solid retirement, until I loose 25 lbs.
Out of all these things I’ve seen the most harm come from when we base worthiness of love on behavior. This is harmful to us all. Not all behaviors are lovable but behaviors are not people, they are actions people take.
This type of thinking conditions us to feel unloveable. We are not perfect people, we’re not meant to be. When we step outside of the box of “ideal” we are condemned, shamed, wrong.
You may have heard me say before, what we give is what we receive. When you judge others for poor behavior you may as well pick up a mirror because the same judgment is reflected back within you.
The truth is when you love yourself its easier to love others. When you treat yourself with kindness, you tend to treat others the same. When you can forgive yourself for poor choices and do better you can see the same possibilities for others.
Embrace the love guy xoxo